Making Love Last: Real Couples Share Their Stories

Myrna and Joseph Thomas

Myrna Thomas, 49, Bikram yoga instructor

Joseph Thomas, 46, corporate performance management consultant

Years married: 19

Children: Dylan, 16, Ethan, 14

New York, New York


"How do we handle our disagreements? I throw a dish. He stomps his foot. I yell. He yells. I yell louder. I win!" laughs Myrna. Having a sense of humor is key to any good marriage, and it's one of the many things that help this playful Manhattan couple stay connected.

Joseph appreciates how Myrna brings out the best in him. "I'm complicated and she knows me, typically better than I think, which has helped resolve many disagreements." He says his biggest adjustment to being part of a couple was learning to grow out of youthful tendencies. "I had a hard time taking things seriously; I expected everything on my own terms." Joseph feels that Myrna has made him more mature and open.

Adapting to marriage and parenthood presented both with challenges. For Myrna, "the most difficult aspect was being true to myself while taking Joe and our sons into consideration." She admits that motherhood got off to a rocky start. "Dylan's first year was rough; then Ethan was born 17 months later. I put so much energy into being a great mom that I had no energy for myself or being a wife. We were so busy and tired, but we still managed to sit for 15 minutes to just talk. I think the biggest challenge for us as parents is to always be on the same page—or at least reading the same book! I realized my marriage is a high priority and must remain so." Joseph shares the one thing he'd like to do over: "I had a hard time understanding how to be a dad. I wish it hadn't taken me so long. Our kids are awesome! They remind us every day of ourselves, the good parts."

Myrna, who thinks her husband is "generous, kind and extremely passionate," wouldn't change a thing. "I'd live it exactly the same way. Everything we've experienced as a couple has led us to this moment." Joseph says he's grateful to have found someone like Myrna. "She is the good that people see in me."

"The best piece of advice? At the end of the day, it's all about the two of you," says Myrna. "You chose to build a life together—build it. Together. And treat each other like best friends and mean it. Okay, that's two things!"

More thoughts from Myrna:

What does Joe do that still drives you insane?

Oy....he's late for EVERYTHING!

How have you created a balance in your lives when it comes to working, parenting, cooking, taking care of the house, managing finances, etc.?

We kind of just fell into a rhythm. Some things were also just taken for granted (he's better at budgeting, so he manages finances). I love to cook, so I do the cooking, and so on and it works. No one gets taken advantage of or is stuck doing the majority of the work. No resentments.

More thoughts from Joe:

What does Myrna do that still drives you insane?

Procrastinate. She knows that if she waits long enough on a task, I'll just go ahead and take care of it. Drives us both crazy.

When are you two the happiest?

When I look at her and I see that she knows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling.