For those who think being a Judge is easy

8 Signs She's Your Future Ex-Wife (Or He's Your Future Ex-Husband)

On the surface she may seem perfect for you -- but dig a little deeper and you'll find that's definitely not the case. That instant physical attraction isn't enough to sustain a long-lasting relationship. Below, experts share eight signs your Mr. or Ms. Right is all wrong for you.

 1. They roll their eyes at you.

 Who has time for eye rolling -- or any other contemptuous behavior -- at this point in the relationship? If they're doing it now, in public or in private, it's only going to get worse later on, said Marcia Naomi Berger, a psychotherapist and the author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love. "In effect, a partner who behaves this way is being both disrespectful and disloyal," she said. "If your partner is annoyed with you, then looks to whoever else is in the room with a knowing glance to imply that you're being ridiculous, he's allying himself with the wrong person. Loyalty should lie first and foremost with each other, even when imperfections surface."

 2. They're withdrawn from the start.

Playing hard to get works if you're in the tenth grade. Otherwise, you need someone who's upfront about their feelings and won't run for the hills when the relationship becomes a little more complicated, said Virginia Gilbert, a marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles. "Does she vanish into the ether when you have a personal problem? Does he sulk and storm out of the room when you try to resolve a squabble? If so, then you're with the wrong person," she told HuffPost. "Chasing after someone who’s emotionally unavailable will just make the other person feel smothered -- and withdraw further -- while you seethe with resentment." In the end, it's "better to save yourself decades of futility and move on to someone who’s capable of genuine intimacy," Gilbert said.

3. They're too dependent. 

 It's natural to want to spend every waking hour together in the beginning -- but if you want to keep things interesting and fresh, you need to have separate lives and identities, said Kristin Davin, a New York City-based psychologist. "This becomes an issue when there is no space to do individual things, especially if the partner who wants to be together all the time feels threatened by the desire from the other for time alone or with friends," she said. "It wears on people and starts to become suffocating and unhealthy."

4. They're attached to their cell phone.

It may not be as bad as physically cheating, but choosing your smartphone over your partner is a form of cheating, said Marina Sbrochi, the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. (Plus, at this point in the relationship, you should be ten times more interesting than whatever app they're thumbing through.) "What's missing is their presence," she said. "It’s as if you can see your partner, but they don’t see you and you aren’t interacting with them. You'll spend your time waiting for your partner to give up the phone but they can’t. Not good."

5. They aren't straight with you about their plans for the future.

 The two of you should feel comfortable discussing the important questions in a relationship: If and how you'll raise the kids; how involved your families will be in your lives; your idea of budgeting. If your S.O. gets fidgety whenever you bring up the future, you may be in for a world of surprises as your connection deepens, Sborchi said. "You may be in for a gut smack," she said. "Don't miss the clues along the way and end up with someone that 'finds' themselves later on."

6. They play the victim.

 Walk, don't run, if your new boo has a long list of grievances against everyone they've ever dated or been in a relationship with, Gilbert said. "It's worrisome if all his exes were 'crazy' or everyone close to him has let him down," she said. "If the person with whom you hope to spend the rest of your life blames all their problems on other people or circumstances, guess what’s in store for you? An apocalyptic divorce and custody battle. Save yourself a lifetime of chaos and find someone who’s a responsible adult."

7. They're not on the same page as you financially.

 If you can't get it together financially, there's a good chance that you're not going to be together in the long run, Davin said. Studies have shown that financial problems are a main contributor to divorce. "If not addressed, things like overspending or financial debts can significantly impact the sustainability of the marriage," she said. "People do think about their money differently; it's not so much the differences but how they are managed, handled and talked about (or not) that makes it a game changer."

 8. They stonewall you. 

Stonewalling occurs when one partner withdraws from the interaction or argument, closing themselves off to what the other has to say. If your S.O. walks away when you ask them to put the dishes away or go to a family get-together, expect more of the same later on, Berger said. "While men and women stonewall, men are more likely to do it than women because men are more likely to feel overwhelmed by emotions and want to escape," she said. "If this issue continues to go unaddressed, the stonewalled partner will become increasingly frustrated and too resentful to remain in the marriage."

Movie ( TV) Friday-Perry Mason

The Secret To Living Happily Ever After

• Iris Ruth Pastor

When I was a little girl, I snuggled in my mother's sheared beaver coat, watching her put the finishing touches on her make-up and spraying her beehive hairdo into place. Somehow, in those few minutes, she transformed herself from my familiar Mom into someone exciting and alluring. I reluctantly relinquished her soft fur coat and proceeded to watch as my father gallantly held it for her. Then they both disappeared into the night -- with a smile on their lips and their arms entwined. I sensed there was something special going on but I didn't know quite what it was.

By the time I was 16, I had started to figure it out. My Saturdays were filled with washing and rolling my hair in jumbo rollers and plastering down my bangs with Dippity Doo. Then off to the local dime store in the new shopping center I went to buy bobby pins, eyebrow pencil and lip frost to add to my stash of cheap cosmetic wonders. Wearing those big plastic rollers to the shopping center was a status symbol in those days, announcing to the world that you had a "real" date that night.

Nothing was more invigorating than my boyfriend pulling up to my house in his GTO convertible, with a full tank of gas in his car, his entire allowance in his wallet and a whole evening to ourselves -- no parents, no pesky little brothers, no teachers, no homework or practices -- just us. The feeling of freedom, abandonment, contentment and the sheer pleasure of being alive and with someone you adored was a feeling that was indelibly stamped in the memory of my 16th and 17th year. Saturday night became an unspoken dance between my boyfriend and I, representing a celebration of life's promises.

When my freshman year at college proved to be a disappointment and my boyfriend from high school started dating a girl from Cleveland, my Saturday nights in the dorm were spent in the Study Lounge watching the headlights of cars carrying other couples out on their dates. I missed the glorious feeling of having someone special to go out with and someone special to be with on Saturday nights.

I transferred universities and my sophomore and junior years at the University of Florida were filled with Saturday night parties in smoke-filled frat houses dancing to music that was too loud and with boys that were too drunk. And although there was no one special in my life for many months, the promise of a Saturday night with someone I would adore continued to fill me with yearning and anticipation.

When I later married and had two children and found that my husband and I didn't have the magic of a dynamic relationship, my feelings about Saturday night became shrouded in sadness. We had the economic means, the sitter, the time and the opportunity, but the chemistry between the two of us only emphasized for me that he was not the one I wanted to spend that magic night with because Saturday nights have always been special.

I met my second husband on a Saturday night. I fell in love with him on a Saturday night and I married him on a Saturday night.

Over the years of our marriage, he and I have partied on Saturday nights, gone to movies and plays on Saturday nights, and went out to countless dinners on Saturday nights. We've spent Saturday nights with friends, family, children and parents, strangers and acquaintances. But, by far, the best Saturday nights we have ever spent have been the Saturday nights we have spent with just each other.

Experts say there is no substitute for shared quality couple time -- simply making uninterrupted time to be together -- without kids, pets, in-laws, and bosses. And that the bond you form during those sacred times will help you over the challenging hurdles life inevitably presents. The experts are right.

For my husband and I, Saturday nights became fence-mending nights -- nights to touch, reconnect, revitalize and re-establish our personal bond with each other. We left behind thoughts of our babies, our toddlers, our youngsters and our teen-agers. We forgot that we had car seats in the rear and cookie crumbs all over the back seat floor.

I became domestically unwired. I forgave my husband for not cleaning up after himself, not using the shoe trees I bought him and the belt rack I hung up for him.

He unhinged his entrepreneurial harness. He forgave me for being snippy, distracted, and disinterested in his newest real estate endeavor. And too focused on the mounds of dirty laundry and the cluttered pantry shelves.

Somehow my husband always looked a little more handsome, moved a little more gracefully and spoke a little more forcefully -- on Saturday night. And somehow, I always dressed a little more demurely, spoke a little more softly and moved a little more slowly -- on Saturday night. The wine was sweeter, the coffee richer and the food tastier on Saturday night.

And on those rare Saturday nights that the tension didn't melt away and we carried the rigors of the work week to the enclave of Saturday night, we woke up Sunday morning feeling deprived and out-of-sorts. I cried while he fumed, because we had spoiled a potentially wonderful and soul-satisfying Saturday night.
 
So we learned to breathe deeply and let go. We left the sorrows of the week on the back yard swing. We left the pressures of the future on the front porch steps. Knowingly, and with great effort, we kept Saturday nights special. I guess that's why they still are.