Forgiveness

   "The only way to overcome pain caused by an instrumental figure in one's life is to forgive, but the definition of that word is often misunderstood. Forgiveness is about relieving oneself of resentment.    Forgiveness isn't about saying, 'It;s OK,' or that you 'accept' or 'approve' what happened, forgiveness is the acknowledgment that what happened, happened, and that you are now ready to set down the baggage, the pain and the fear.

   There simply is no other way, when a person forgives they no longer take action based on feelings of revenge, anger or fear, but instead make decisions based on their character.  If I consider myself a good person, a generous person, but then act meanly or selfishly because someone has treated me that way, then I allow their actions to determine my character and my actions.

Without taking the proper steps tp grieve and let go, pain can become part of one's identity.  (Retribution) does no virtue for you.  It will create the illusion that you've done something valuable for yourself.  Resolving the pain comes down to a key phrase: I remember the time that you did this, and I'm not going to let the memory of that event hurt me anymore".---various words of wisdom from Russell Friedman and Becky Blanton

Forgive those who have done you harm, not for them, but for you--don't let their actions define who you are, or who you can become.