Divorced Men And Women Reveal The Moment They Knew They Had Moved On

Carolin Lehmann Editorial Fellow

The Huffington Post There may come a time after divorce when you think you’ll never move on. The good news is, you eventually do move past the pain, and the experiences of these divorcées prove it. Below, nine HuffPost bloggers and readers on Facebook share the moments they realized they had finally moved on from their marriages.

1. “The moment I knew I’d moved past everything was when I decided not to always respond to my ex. I used to think I needed to respond to everything he said and argue, and once I got past that point, it was truly liberating.” — Lindsey Light

 2. “I prefer to see moving on as a gradual evolution, sometimes leaping forward, sometimes falling backward ... I think the giant exhale came when it struck me that she, and I (and everyone, really) are on our own individual journeys of healing. And when I could see her journey as something independent of me, the most crucial cord was cut.” — Adam Gilad 

3. “I have always been a people-pleaser but I am slowly learning to get past that and please myself. That being said, I didn’t know I was ready to move on until I saw that my ex and my son were both OK. My ex is thriving and in a good place and my son has been unfazed. Seeing them happy and moving on themselves has allowed me to do the same.” — Adam Petzold

4. “I knew I’d moved on from my divorce when I was ready to date and meet interesting new men to share my life with. Even though my ex and I were in agreement that our relationship was done, I still needed to grieve and process the ending of a long marriage. I used that time to find myself again including doing things I’d always wanted to do but never did. It was a deep introspective time of discovery that lit my inner fire with new passion that helped me come to the dating game balanced and whole again.” — Lisa Copeland

 5. “I started writing again. After my ex-husband left, words eluded me, buried by months of fighting, tears and anxiety. I finally allowed myself time to readjust to my new life, slowly building confidence in the person I was becoming without him. One day I sat down with my laptop and the words poured out. As the sentences flowed from my fingertips, I knew everything would be OK.” — Trish Eklund 

6. “I knew I’d moved on from my divorce when, to paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, I became the change I wished to see in the world. After a period of blaming, I asked myself: ‘What do I have to learn from this?’ and sought to understand what I had to learn about being a man in a relationship. The insights I found helped me become the change I wished to see. I realized that as difficult as the whole experience was, it helped me grow positively as a person who is stronger and wiser. It was at that point I knew I had moved on and was ready for a new relationship.” — Elliott Katz

 7. “It was my second Christmas and ‘sharing’ the holiday of my two daughters. They opened gifts on Christmas morning and he picked them up. I closed the door and instead of crying, I was at peace. I cleaned up and went out to dinner with a girlfriend and really felt that my anger for him and the girlfriend was meaningless. I made a New Year’s resolution that I was walking away and starting over — a new chapter. It really happened.” — Dana Bushee

 8. “I knew I had moved on when I realized I hadn’t thought about my ex-wife for days. My divorce was no longer hanging over me and I was looking forward, not backward. That was a wonderful moment.” — Chad Stone

 9. “I had work off and was watching movies all day. I remember laughing out loud at a movie, then stopping myself and realizing that I was actually happy again. I was happy just sitting there, doing nothing but relaxing and enjoying the time alone. I remember saying out loud, ‘wow,’ because I knew I had crossed that line of being over the pain of my divorce.” — Danny Gutierrez