6 Relationship Habits All Really Happy Couples Have

We all tend to fall into a routine in long-term relationships. We make habits and rituals as a couple that help shape and define our lives together. Maybe it’s going to breakfast on a Saturday morning, one partner making the bed while the other makes coffee, or a particular way of celebrating a holiday. If we are going to form habits as a couple, why not form good ones?

Here are six habits that all really happy couples have:

 1. Make time for each other. 

 It’s easy to feel that our relationship will be there when we’ve done everything else we need to do. It’s easy to take our relationship for granted while we work on our goals. We can tell ourselves that we’re doing it for the relationship or that we’re building a future together, but the truth is, spending time on our relationship needs to be a habit and a priority now, so our relationship is there in future. Make spending quality time (with just the two of you and no TV) a habit. Make date night a priority; give yourselves time and space to just be present together, enjoy each other’s company and relax.

 2. Practice appreciation. 

 Appreciation builds love and trust. Telling our partner the things we appreciate about them brings us closer; we become kinder to each other, and more generous. We can fall into the trap of thinking our partner knows all the reasons we love them, but often they don’t. We all have self-doubt at times, and being told what is appreciated by others is uplifting, nourishing and intimate. Make sharing appreciation with your partner a habit. If you appreciate something your partner does for you, let them know. If you like the way they’ve done their hair today, let them know. Do they have a quirk you love? Tell them. The more you share, the easier everything becomes and the more love and trust builds between you.

 3. Make sex a habit. 

 Things in the bedroom were roaring at the start of your relationship, but then you found it was only happening a couple of times a week and some days you suddenly realize how long it’s been since you were intimate like that. Sex isn’t the most important aspect of a relationship, but an enjoyable, intimate sex life can nourish a relationship, bring us closer and build love. To keep our sex life happy and hot requires some energy and attention. It’s nurtured by us setting aside time for it, talking about what we want and making it special. Regular love-making can become a ritual that is both beautiful and satisfying.

 4. Say sorry.

 I’m the first to put my hand up and say I find it hard to say I’m sorry. I become defensive, I feel like there’s something wrong with me and my shame blocks intimacy in our relationship. But I know the intimacy and the connection that lies on the other side of my fear. I’m so familiar with the softening in my partner’s eyes when I can take full responsibility for what I’ve said or how I’ve behaved. Saying sorry builds connection, love and compassion. Taking responsibility helps us grow. Apologize wholeheartedly and often. 

5. Reassess where your relationship is going.

 Really happy couples talk about how their relationship is going, what they love about it and what they would like to work on. Happy couples feel comfortable voicing their needs for the relationship and holding a shared view for the direction of the relationship. Reassessing your relationship reminds you it’s a priority and keeps it fresh. I recommend couples take time regularly to talk about where their relationship is at and how to make it even better going forward.

 6. Take time apart

. Taking time apart is a vital part of a healthy relationship. Remaining individuals keeps a relationship strong and vibrant. Our partner can’t be our everything; we have to keep our own interests, our own goals and own desires. Time to ourselves is nourishing. Taking time apart allows us to give more to our relationship and keeps our relationship alive and fresh. The great thing about habits is that once they become habits, they don’t feel like work anymore. Start building habits that make your relationship amazing.

 Isiah McKimmie is a Relationship Therapist, Sexologist and Tantra teacher helping people open to confidence, sensual pleasure and deep intimacy. She lives in Sydney, Australia, with her incredibly patient partner and reaches clients all over the world through the wonders of the internet. Be sure to visit her at www.isiah-mckimmie.com for more on intimacy, connection and pleasure.

Movie Friday-A Fish Called Wanda

British barrister Archie Leach (John Cleese) falls into a life of crime somewhat by accident. Until he meets Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis), he lives a boring life with a semi-successful legal career. Trying to double cross her partner in crime George Thomason, Wanda tries to seduce his lawyer (Leach). Though they never have sex, Leach is clearly enamored and lets his guard down enough for Gershwitz to confuse his line of questioning in court and even calls her “darling.” This sets off a massive courtroom brawl as George attacks Archie, whose wife later decides to divorce. With no marriage or career to hold him down, Archie resolves to flee to South America with Wanda where they can live from stolen jewel money.

Divorced Men And Women Reveal The Moment They Knew They Had Moved On

Carolin Lehmann Editorial Fellow

The Huffington Post There may come a time after divorce when you think you’ll never move on. The good news is, you eventually do move past the pain, and the experiences of these divorcées prove it. Below, nine HuffPost bloggers and readers on Facebook share the moments they realized they had finally moved on from their marriages.

1. “The moment I knew I’d moved past everything was when I decided not to always respond to my ex. I used to think I needed to respond to everything he said and argue, and once I got past that point, it was truly liberating.” — Lindsey Light

 2. “I prefer to see moving on as a gradual evolution, sometimes leaping forward, sometimes falling backward ... I think the giant exhale came when it struck me that she, and I (and everyone, really) are on our own individual journeys of healing. And when I could see her journey as something independent of me, the most crucial cord was cut.” — Adam Gilad 

3. “I have always been a people-pleaser but I am slowly learning to get past that and please myself. That being said, I didn’t know I was ready to move on until I saw that my ex and my son were both OK. My ex is thriving and in a good place and my son has been unfazed. Seeing them happy and moving on themselves has allowed me to do the same.” — Adam Petzold

4. “I knew I’d moved on from my divorce when I was ready to date and meet interesting new men to share my life with. Even though my ex and I were in agreement that our relationship was done, I still needed to grieve and process the ending of a long marriage. I used that time to find myself again including doing things I’d always wanted to do but never did. It was a deep introspective time of discovery that lit my inner fire with new passion that helped me come to the dating game balanced and whole again.” — Lisa Copeland

 5. “I started writing again. After my ex-husband left, words eluded me, buried by months of fighting, tears and anxiety. I finally allowed myself time to readjust to my new life, slowly building confidence in the person I was becoming without him. One day I sat down with my laptop and the words poured out. As the sentences flowed from my fingertips, I knew everything would be OK.” — Trish Eklund 

6. “I knew I’d moved on from my divorce when, to paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, I became the change I wished to see in the world. After a period of blaming, I asked myself: ‘What do I have to learn from this?’ and sought to understand what I had to learn about being a man in a relationship. The insights I found helped me become the change I wished to see. I realized that as difficult as the whole experience was, it helped me grow positively as a person who is stronger and wiser. It was at that point I knew I had moved on and was ready for a new relationship.” — Elliott Katz

 7. “It was my second Christmas and ‘sharing’ the holiday of my two daughters. They opened gifts on Christmas morning and he picked them up. I closed the door and instead of crying, I was at peace. I cleaned up and went out to dinner with a girlfriend and really felt that my anger for him and the girlfriend was meaningless. I made a New Year’s resolution that I was walking away and starting over — a new chapter. It really happened.” — Dana Bushee

 8. “I knew I had moved on when I realized I hadn’t thought about my ex-wife for days. My divorce was no longer hanging over me and I was looking forward, not backward. That was a wonderful moment.” — Chad Stone

 9. “I had work off and was watching movies all day. I remember laughing out loud at a movie, then stopping myself and realizing that I was actually happy again. I was happy just sitting there, doing nothing but relaxing and enjoying the time alone. I remember saying out loud, ‘wow,’ because I knew I had crossed that line of being over the pain of my divorce.” — Danny Gutierrez

Congratulations Villanova--2016 NCAA Basketball Champions

Movie Friday (a day late) The Insider

A research chemist comes under personal and professional attack when he decides to appear in a “60 Minutes” expose on Big Tobacco. This film, which was nominated for seven Academy Awards, is based on the true story of Jeffrey Wigand (Russell Crowe), a whistleblower in the tobacco industry who exposed lies Big Tobacco told for decades about cigarettes. He served as a central witness in lawsuits filed by all 50 states (most notably Mississippi), which were eventually settled for $246 billion.

For those who think being a Judge is easy

8 Signs She's Your Future Ex-Wife (Or He's Your Future Ex-Husband)

On the surface she may seem perfect for you -- but dig a little deeper and you'll find that's definitely not the case. That instant physical attraction isn't enough to sustain a long-lasting relationship. Below, experts share eight signs your Mr. or Ms. Right is all wrong for you.

 1. They roll their eyes at you.

 Who has time for eye rolling -- or any other contemptuous behavior -- at this point in the relationship? If they're doing it now, in public or in private, it's only going to get worse later on, said Marcia Naomi Berger, a psychotherapist and the author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love. "In effect, a partner who behaves this way is being both disrespectful and disloyal," she said. "If your partner is annoyed with you, then looks to whoever else is in the room with a knowing glance to imply that you're being ridiculous, he's allying himself with the wrong person. Loyalty should lie first and foremost with each other, even when imperfections surface."

 2. They're withdrawn from the start.

Playing hard to get works if you're in the tenth grade. Otherwise, you need someone who's upfront about their feelings and won't run for the hills when the relationship becomes a little more complicated, said Virginia Gilbert, a marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles. "Does she vanish into the ether when you have a personal problem? Does he sulk and storm out of the room when you try to resolve a squabble? If so, then you're with the wrong person," she told HuffPost. "Chasing after someone who’s emotionally unavailable will just make the other person feel smothered -- and withdraw further -- while you seethe with resentment." In the end, it's "better to save yourself decades of futility and move on to someone who’s capable of genuine intimacy," Gilbert said.

3. They're too dependent. 

 It's natural to want to spend every waking hour together in the beginning -- but if you want to keep things interesting and fresh, you need to have separate lives and identities, said Kristin Davin, a New York City-based psychologist. "This becomes an issue when there is no space to do individual things, especially if the partner who wants to be together all the time feels threatened by the desire from the other for time alone or with friends," she said. "It wears on people and starts to become suffocating and unhealthy."

4. They're attached to their cell phone.

It may not be as bad as physically cheating, but choosing your smartphone over your partner is a form of cheating, said Marina Sbrochi, the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. (Plus, at this point in the relationship, you should be ten times more interesting than whatever app they're thumbing through.) "What's missing is their presence," she said. "It’s as if you can see your partner, but they don’t see you and you aren’t interacting with them. You'll spend your time waiting for your partner to give up the phone but they can’t. Not good."

5. They aren't straight with you about their plans for the future.

 The two of you should feel comfortable discussing the important questions in a relationship: If and how you'll raise the kids; how involved your families will be in your lives; your idea of budgeting. If your S.O. gets fidgety whenever you bring up the future, you may be in for a world of surprises as your connection deepens, Sborchi said. "You may be in for a gut smack," she said. "Don't miss the clues along the way and end up with someone that 'finds' themselves later on."

6. They play the victim.

 Walk, don't run, if your new boo has a long list of grievances against everyone they've ever dated or been in a relationship with, Gilbert said. "It's worrisome if all his exes were 'crazy' or everyone close to him has let him down," she said. "If the person with whom you hope to spend the rest of your life blames all their problems on other people or circumstances, guess what’s in store for you? An apocalyptic divorce and custody battle. Save yourself a lifetime of chaos and find someone who’s a responsible adult."

7. They're not on the same page as you financially.

 If you can't get it together financially, there's a good chance that you're not going to be together in the long run, Davin said. Studies have shown that financial problems are a main contributor to divorce. "If not addressed, things like overspending or financial debts can significantly impact the sustainability of the marriage," she said. "People do think about their money differently; it's not so much the differences but how they are managed, handled and talked about (or not) that makes it a game changer."

 8. They stonewall you. 

Stonewalling occurs when one partner withdraws from the interaction or argument, closing themselves off to what the other has to say. If your S.O. walks away when you ask them to put the dishes away or go to a family get-together, expect more of the same later on, Berger said. "While men and women stonewall, men are more likely to do it than women because men are more likely to feel overwhelmed by emotions and want to escape," she said. "If this issue continues to go unaddressed, the stonewalled partner will become increasingly frustrated and too resentful to remain in the marriage."